Raccoon Stories
By
Peter M. Zoernig
Chapter Two
How I Became “General Junk”
In
1984 on an early dumpster run to
On
this occasion, I was more concerned with keeping my tire iron and jack separate
from forty gallons of Top Ramen noodles and a half barrel full of sugar candy,
(more properly referred to as “zu-zus” in the Rainbow
vernacular) and making room for more comestibles to be gathered from the
bountiful California dumpsters. So, we acquired a nice assortment of sturdy
cardboard boxes, and unloaded the entire contents of the vehicle in the parking
lot of a grocery store.
“Put
bread in this box, fruit in this box, vegetables in this box, tipi supplies
over here, tools over there and this box will be for general junk.” I said, not
knowing the impact that these words would have on the rest of my life.
“That’s
it!!!! That’s it!!!!! General Junk!!!!!!!! You’re General Junk!!!” I was
sorting broccoli from rope and vise grips, not sure why Raccoon was so excited,
but he was jumping up and down hooting and hollering “General Junk!!!!” Raccoon
was positively ecstatic, and I had to admit, the name suited me to a t. I was
fairly new at hitting grocery store dumpsters, but I had been a scrounge from way back. Even my father, a businessman with
his suit and tie, would pick over an interesting collection of garbage, and my
mother used to drive home from church through the alleys to see what treasures
we might find. From that day on, I became “General Junk” whether I liked it or
not. The name stuck, it stuck like dumpster juice on an over-ripe tomato.
Back
at the gathering, I was surprised and a little unnerved at how quickly the
“General Junk” persona acquired a life of its own. My style was not nearly as
flamboyant as Raccoon; I did not weave feathers into my hair or participate in
Rainbow politics. But our campsite was one of the very first to appear on the
actual site of the
While
I had no issue with eating food that was taken from the garbage, my criteria
was still pretty much the same as it would be for food under any other circumstances,
if it was a dented can, or a partly squished loaf of bread, no problem, but
questionable meat products have always been where I draw the line. Nevertheless
Raccoon had plopped on top of everything else an entire side of beef, only one
end of which was not looking too good, the other end of which was actually
still almost frozen when we got to the gathering. It was this item that Raccoon
used to bribe the gate security into letting us on through, and we took off up
the mountainside, driving until we could drive no further because the road was
blocked by an old 1950’s panel wagon stuck in the snow. I managed to get the
pickup off the road into a little nook, and we crashed for the evening in the
vehicle. In the morning, there was no difficulty in choosing a campsite, as the
snow was still covering everything except one small area at the head of the
trail. A group of four people were there in a tipi, Carolyn, Marilyn, and Zip.
They had a 12 year old kid named Billy with them, and an old dog. We set up our
tipi on the other side of the thawed area, literally with the snow still partly
in the tipi, where we buried lots of dumpster vegetables, bread, and some
goodies we had actually purchased.
There
was an incredible view of
Occasionally
I meet a person who is getting on in years, already starting to slow down, and
there is a sad tired look in their eyes. A conversation will reveal that that
person feels an emptiness and a regret at having
poured all their youthful vitality into a meaningless job, a bad marriage, a
boring life. They had an ok life, but the high moments were watching a movie
about somebody else’s adventures. They got up, went to work, went home, watched
TV, got old and crusty without much of anything happening to them , and now
they’re just sitting around waiting to die. When I got out of college, I
decided I was not going to be one of those people- I was going to go out into
the world and have my own adventures. I can’t believe that was over twenty
years ago. I can’t believe that Raccoon is dead, but I will always look back on
those times as the best possible way a person could ever spend their early
adult years… just tearing around having the times of our lives. Raccoon told me
over and over again that he would die young, and I just passed it off as part
of his eccentricity. Now that his story is complete, I feel privileged to have
been a part of that story, and partly thanks to Raccoon, I will never, ever be
one of those sad, tired people. I guess he won’t either. Who knows what the
future will bring, but whatever may come, I have memories I wouldn’t trade for
anything. Thanks again Raccoon!